The Spirit's leading
Hi guys,
I haven't done much checking in on this blog lately...any other church musicians out there who experienced "Christmas & Christmas music recovery", formerly known as December and January?
Before I blog away, a quick announcement - my wife Amber and I are now expecting our first child! Amber is 8 weeks pregnant as I type this. We're not going to find out if it's a boy or a girl until the delivery, so feel free to debate the pros and cons of that decision. :)
But now for the reason I'm typing:
Do any of you ever have doubts about the whole "Holy Spirit's leading" concept in worship. Like somehow we worship leaders have this mystical, magical ability to say, play, sing, and discern with superhero-like skills whenever a "time of worship" is upon a room. Like as long as you're anointed, everything's going to be great, and if you're not anointed, everyone in the room is just smiling and nodding while you sing some songs.
I guess I used to think that I was that superhero. I used to be so confident that pretty much every action I made during a worship service was right on target and was a huge blessing to God and everyone in the room. Now I feel all these doubts, wondering if I've really just been responding to how I'm feeling, the room temperature, what I ate for dinner last night, how sleepy I am, how angry I am at the people in the back row with their arms crossed not singing...etc. I feel like I either have lost my worship leading ears or I never had them in the first place. I also feel like because of my doubts, I'm losing a sense of my own worship leading voice or worship leading personality. I'm not as bold as I used to be because I'm always second-guessing myself.
Thoughts?
I haven't done much checking in on this blog lately...any other church musicians out there who experienced "Christmas & Christmas music recovery", formerly known as December and January?
Before I blog away, a quick announcement - my wife Amber and I are now expecting our first child! Amber is 8 weeks pregnant as I type this. We're not going to find out if it's a boy or a girl until the delivery, so feel free to debate the pros and cons of that decision. :)
But now for the reason I'm typing:
Do any of you ever have doubts about the whole "Holy Spirit's leading" concept in worship. Like somehow we worship leaders have this mystical, magical ability to say, play, sing, and discern with superhero-like skills whenever a "time of worship" is upon a room. Like as long as you're anointed, everything's going to be great, and if you're not anointed, everyone in the room is just smiling and nodding while you sing some songs.
I guess I used to think that I was that superhero. I used to be so confident that pretty much every action I made during a worship service was right on target and was a huge blessing to God and everyone in the room. Now I feel all these doubts, wondering if I've really just been responding to how I'm feeling, the room temperature, what I ate for dinner last night, how sleepy I am, how angry I am at the people in the back row with their arms crossed not singing...etc. I feel like I either have lost my worship leading ears or I never had them in the first place. I also feel like because of my doubts, I'm losing a sense of my own worship leading voice or worship leading personality. I'm not as bold as I used to be because I'm always second-guessing myself.
Thoughts?
posted by Nathan at 1/30/2006 12:04:00 PM
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